Deb Webber

Changing, Evolving & Letting Go of: People, Identities, Roles & Ideas.

Life brings many changes and I am going through another right now. We lose people on different levels due to death, and sometimes it feels like we lose people through life’s evolution and circumstances. The are many reasons people move away from one another. So with every event there is definitely a learning opportunity for us to grow, and learn/create self. Taking on our own part of the journey, taking ownership of our own personality, responses and actions.

However, it can be very painful to lose people no matter what the situation. We can lose people due to us projecting our problems, anger, depression, anxieties, and concerns on to others. As well as others doing it to us and then us realizing ‘you know what I am worthy of being treated better’.

We lose certain attachments to those we love for all the right reasons too, such as letting go of your children so that they may turn into the best people, the happiest people they can be. Many a time even the children of children (yes, we all were children), don’t make the right choices in the guardian’s mind, then people need to let go so those who have harder lessons learn. Enabling to disable someone, I think that where this comes into play.

It is a grand thing to realise the part you play in the changes from having certain people in your life then not. We all play a role in some form, during the time we have people close, be it through family, friends, work colleges, acquaintances and sometimes we need to figure out why they are gone. Sometimes you know why they have all vanished be it through your own actions, or theirs, or death. We do grow apart from others, when the journey of growth has completed itself as well, and at times we think the relationship is completed but for some strange reason the person may reappear showing you that you have not finished off the attachment you share.

And, for me right now I feel alone as I am playing my part in being a Mum and having a daughter who now is a Mum too. I had to let my children go on one level when they first started school, then another when they started making their own decisions, and dating! Eek (that wasn’t bad)! This process of ‘letting my children go’ just kept happening though. I had to let go and accept changes when they left home, then finding their partners, moving away, I had to move back more steps (but still be there supporting their choices), and then creating a family of her own! My son is still to do this if he ever does, but for now, right now, it is the disconnecting from my child (who is no longer a child and hasn’t been for a long time) due to having a baby and knowing that all this is wonderful and natural.

Seeing as you may not know me personally, my daughter has been one of my best friends, that filled a love space for me, because I am a single lady myself. And now, I feel like I am walking out alone to find me (more so ‘create’). Because her and her beautiful husband will create more exciting experiences for them! My daughter has created her family circle, and they will naturally come first, and rightly so. It is not me anymore who is there holding her/their hands.

I love watching my children grow, coming into themselves, and hopefully with confidence and pride as both my children are intelligent, smart, kind, honest, amazing human beings. I must have done something right; I am blessed that is for sure.

I can be sad about this which I am, as well as proud that my children have the downloads from life and their own intelligence to have the best lives they can and I can step back even more.
Now, for me what do I do? Oh my golly, I have given myself to permission to grow and do whatever I want. I get to go out and ‘create’ me, create more of me because I am already whole but I am evolving and shifting from being a mother first, to now just ‘me’
But I am so blessed that part of who I am is a grandmother, a ‘Nudda’, as my grandchildren will call me.

So, what happens to people who separate from us? Many a time we will never know.
However, where they are or what they are doing on Earth, the thoughts I send to all (even the ones who have taught me through pain) is love and I wish all are truthfully, happy, leading fulfilling lives. And, for those who have past over, well I will read on as I explain the levels of spirit on my other blog!

We are not really alone, not really if you just reach out and see there are others here, and life changes all the time. We lives through stages, phases and seasons of life and we can be forever ‘creating’ ourselves. Adding more and more to whole we are and how we show up to the world around us.

Love of oneness,
Deb xx